By Rita Brhel, editor of The Attached Family publications
Reading Deliver This! Make the Childbirth Choice That’s Right for You…No Matter What Everyone Else Thinks by Marisa Cohen has really helped me to come to terms with the disappointment from my Cesarean section.
“Unfortunately, there is no magic replay pod that can take you back in time and give you a do-over on your baby’s day of birth. You have to look forward. You have to find a way to deal with the lingering emotions of a disappointing birth so you can fully embrace the business of being a mom,” Cohen writes.
“I had to take time to process it,” said Alexandra, a lawyer from New York City who was quoted in Deliver This! and who planned to have an unmedicated birth in a birthing center but ended up with a Cesarean after 42 hours of labor, including six hours of pushing without the baby crowning. “There were some emotional bumps along the way, but it’s something I’ve come to terms with. But you know what? In time, your priorities change. You have a baby who is healthy and happy, and you’re alive to see it, which is much more important than the circumstances of the birth. And my son is just so awesome!”
While Deliver This! gives mothers valuable information about overcoming negative emotions that surround a disappointing birth experience, it is so much more. Deliver This! is a book for all expectant parents, whether they’re expecting their first baby or their fifth. Cohen presents research-based information in a light, conversational tone intertwined with excerpts of the numerous interviews she had with mothers on why they gave birth the way they did.
While I could definitely tell where Cohen’s preferences lie on the childbirth continuum – which stretches from homebirth to birthing centers to unmedicated hospital births to medicated births to planned, medically necessary Cesareans and finally elective Cesareans – she is surprisingly unbiased as she delves into the real reasons why mothers choose the births they had (or wanted, as in the case of the birth that doesn’t go as planned) while trying to dispel some of the contention felt between the various fronts of the Mommy Wars.
Login to the members-only section of this website to read more about Deliver This! including the difference in media influence between mainstream mothers and women who tend to choose unmedicated births.
Login details can be found in the spring 2009 annual New Baby issue of The Attached Family Magazine. If you haven’t yet received your copy or you’ve joined recently, contact Editor Rita Brhel for access. And if you aren’t a member of Attachment Parenting International, click here for information on membership benefits and information subscribing to The Attached Family Magazine and this online companion site.
Upcoming Feature Articles…
June 1-7: Heal Thyself – The therapeutic benefits of telling your birth story in resolving feelings of disappointment, guilt, and fear. PLUS 4 bonus articles!- June 8-15: Your Best Birth – A companion to her documentary, The Business of Being Born, actress Ricki Lake’s book encourages women to take back the birth experience by informing themselves about all of their childbirth options.
- June 16-22: AP is for Mother, Too — How Attachment Parenting tools such as breastfeeding and bottle nursing, cosleeping, babywearing and Kangaroo Care, and responding with sensitivity can help new mothers resolve feelings of disappointment following childbirth.
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