Experts and parents agree – telling and retelling of a birth story is vital for a woman to overcome an emotionally traumatic birth. But there is certainly something to be said for the power of parenting in an attachment-promoting way in healing a mother’s feelings of disappointment, guilt, anger, and other strong and often confusing emotions that may surround her child’s entry into the world.
Women who are struggling with their emotions are not only grieving their lost dreams of what they had hoped for their labor and birth experience, but may also be battling with feelings of guilt and inadequacy as a mother. While we must take time to fully grieve our birth experiences, we must also find a way to move forward. It can be very fulfilling, and healing, to channel the strong emotions surrounding our child’s birth into caring for her in a loving, positive, attachment-promoting way. Just as a hobby or a phone call to a friend can give a release for our strong emotions in a healthy way, so can we heal through our parenting.
It must be noted, though, that by healing through our parenting, I do not mean that we transfer our strong emotions to our baby or that we attach onto our child in any other way than an appropriate parent-child relationship. What I’m referring to is using parenting as a healthy outlet for women to move forward.
Virtually all Attachment Parenting (AP) practices can help a mother heal from her birth trauma by promoting a close, positive relationship between her and the baby, but there are a few that research has shown to be especially beneficial to the new mother – perhaps not in magically healing emotional trauma but in providing an atmosphere supportive of a mother’s own efforts in healing.
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ALSO THIS WEEK on The Attached Family:
- Parenting without Spoiling — What it means to spoil a child, and what parenting practices can un-spoil a child.
- A Gift for Baby / Un Regalo Para Bebé — A look inside Jan Hunt’s new bilingual version of her classic children’s picture book.
- What to Do When a Cesarean Becomes Necessary — How to create a family-centered birth plan even for a necessary C-section.
- What Goes into a Family-Centered Cesarean Birth Plan – Scenarios to ponder for your birth plan that are specific to a C-section.
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NEXT WEEK on The Attached Family:
- Using massage for end-of-the-day reconnection in working families
- PLUS 4 more articles for parents-to-be and parents of toddlers, children, and teens!
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