Comments on: Quiz: Are You a “Problem Parent?”

By: kids learn math

kids learn math — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 12:05:03 +0000

What’s up i am kavin, its my first time to commenting anywhere, when i read this article i thought i could also make comment due to this good post.

By: job description for detention

job description for detention — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 17:07:41 +0000

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By: Rebecca

Rebecca — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 07:41:53 +0000

I wish we could look at kids as people. My husband can be angry and problematic…so can I at times. But he doesn’t get to discipline or teach me any more than I do him. Help your children, listen, give…more than you think you can…that’s what you signed up for!! It’s not about them…they are who they are and will be that for the rest of their lives!! Find out who they are and be the parent who they need…no excuses!! Of course it’s hard…the best parts of life challenge us! Our kids show up pure, innocent, eager, interested….don’t discipline that out of them!

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Wed, 04 Jul 2012 14:06:20 +0000

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By: Proud Mama

Proud Mama — Sat, 12 May 2012 13:20:34 +0000

I found this great food for thought, I know that I do these things sometimes, and my children do as well but that is not what they get “corrected” for. We need to teach our children that they have to respect us as parents, adults, teachers ….. The way my children react to our attempts of reasoning with them tells us whether they need to be “corrected”. Respect does not come naturally to children, it is something that has to be taught…. If they feel that they can do or say whatever they want whenever they want then they will be in big trouble when the get to school… I try never to “correct” out of anger, some things happen though that shock you and you have to react immediatly. My children are wonderful and loving very good children in school and at home (they are 5 and 6) both girls. But a few days ago after the bedtime routine went perfectly and everyone was in bed I hear a loud THUD and then crying… My children have bunkbeds(never has been a problem) I went in to investigate and My 6 year old said that her sister was hanging from the rail of her bed and she didnt like it so she pushed her hands off. I was like YOU DID WHAT!!!???!?!??! Situations like that need immediate correction and then discussion. Kids feel that they are the center of the universe unless we teach them that they should respect others and themselves. So I think this article while interesting and great food for thought, also is a bit unbalanced. Just in my opinion and experience : )

By: Cat

Cat — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 00:23:25 +0000

This is all very well and good, but I wouldn’t consider any of these behaviours to be “problematic”. It’s just part of being a kid. What about dealing with angry and violent children? Where are the tips on THAT??!! I have two boys – one is loving & thoughtful and probably does every one of those things on the list. He is a joy. My other one has behavioural issues, mainly of anger. He doesn’t like to share, is confrontational, bosses, likes to get his own way and will hit, kick, punch and verbally abuse if the planets are not all aligned. He is hard work. There is no “right” way to parent as all kids are different.

By: Jesse

Jesse — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:58:55 +0000

Rachel you want to read “how to behave so your children will too” by dr sal severe

It is both the same philosophy and it gives practical advice

Also “logical consequences” by dreikurs and grey

By: AZMama

AZMama — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 19:44:35 +0000

AMEN Rachel!! I couldn’t have said it better myself!

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Link Likes 4.22.12 « I'm New Here — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 13:22:54 +0000

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By: Rachel

Rachel — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 10:45:49 +0000

I love and hate this post. I love it because it is all true. I hate it because as a completely imperfect parent myself, who strives to be a calm, selfless, serene, open-minded, open-eyed, diplomatic, wonderful mother, I find things like this completely unhelpful. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its place and I’m glad you posted it. But I read so many idealogical articles that leave me thinking “Yeah! That’s so true! Things will change now!”… but in reality when it’s back to the daily grind and we have a bad day where the kids are being challenging left, right and centre and doing things that – however spirited and understandable – I just *can’t* let them carry on doing, then I find it incredibly tough to hang on to my ideals. Then the circle repeats and I read something else like this, written by an obviously great mother, it leaves me feeling guilty that I’m not evangelical enough and gives me something to strive towards again… and so on and so forth.
What I would find *really* helpful is if those who pen articles like this would also write more practical stuff to complement the idealogical. I’m not suggesting you should tell us how to parent because that is disempowering and often impossible. But I would love to see how you do it. I admire parents who can be so constantly kind and understanding to their children AND raise them wonderfully well. It’s what I strive to be, but instead of reading never-ending guilt-inducing blogs telling me why I’m doing stuff wrong, it would be great if I could also read blogs telling me how people get it right, on a practical blow-by-blow, day-by-day basis. The semantics of whether a child is unruly or spirited *is* important I agree, but at the same time when a child is being violent or destructive or screaming to get their own way or doing something that endangers themselves or others in some way… it’s obviously not something we can let them continue doing. Often distraction doesn’t work. Redirection doesn’t work. Gently explaining why we don’t do that doesn’t work. Taking a time out together and having a cuddle doesn’t work. Attempting to evoke empathy or sympathy doesn’t work. And you know when I try everything and nothing works, I sometimes lose my rag and end up shouting like a banshee. And it’s awful I know and then I read stuff like this and hear what a failure this makes me (even if it’s not what you’re trying to say, which I know you’re probably not).
I hope to see something that is more helpful on a practical level sometime soon, because I have to say I have never yet read or been given a piece of advice on the topic of parenting that has actually helped on a day to day basis.