Comments on: Separation without Anxiety

By: The Attached Family

The Attached Family — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 19:40:35 +0000

Dear Kelly, Thanks for your question. We encourage you to post your question on the API Forum - Consistent and Loving Care. There are API Leaders ready to answer questions there. The link is provided below. You will need to register on the site in order to post your question. In the upper right corner of the Forum homepage, see the Sign Up link. We have also included a few additional API resources for your reference. API Forum - See Consistent and Loving Care forum API Support Groups Busy Attached Families Provide Consistent and Loving Care Work and AP

By: Kelly

Kelly — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 03:43:50 +0000

I realize this is an old post, but I am looking for some input. My 19.5 mo old has been a sensitive high-needs baby since day 1, so the fact we had planned to follow AP philosophy worked out perfectly. She has had the same caregiver for about 7 mo (just 2-3 days per wk for 2-3 hrs ea day). She is very AP friendly, a warm grandmother and former pre-school teacher at a top notch facility, and I drop my LO off at her house where she is the only child being watched. My LO has difficulty with transitions now and then, but has never had separation anxiety until the last month. She now obsesses about my whereabouts once I leave, and can only be distracted for brief periods. She is also crying for short stretches and has been getting harder to console during these bouts. I can’t continue to leave her under these circumstances, but I like going to work. We can’t seem to identify any change or reason for the sudden onset of this anxiety and I feel confident our caregiver is trustworthy and caring for her appropriately. One other confusing detail is when her father watches her 3-4 hrs Saturday mornings at home, she has been asking about me more but she has not been getting upset. Please help!

By: Jessica

Jessica — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 15:14:27 +0000

But what do you do when you have to go to work? I follow attachment parenting principles instinctively but I have to leave my 10 month old baby with her father each morning while I go to work. She has just started to cry when I leave. I don’t want to ignore her cries as I have always responded within seconds (and as result she hardly ever cries) but I can’t see how to get past this period of her anxiety. She settles down pretty quickly once I leave but it goes against all my instincts to walk away from her when she is crying.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 02:04:17 +0000

OMG, Thank you! I’ve had my son, 6mnts, at a daycare for the past 2mnts while I attended college. The daycare worker dropped us because she couldnt handle Paxton, saying he was spoiled, and my parents along with my grandmother all claim that I’ve spoiled him. That “good” babies will lay quietly on the floor and only cry if they’re hungry or soiled. Paxton has SUCH a personality. He’s so funny and loving, I can’t imagen if he were like the other babies with lack of personality and lack of response. I can’t imagen parenting any other way, but with all the mounting pressure I started to doubt myself. I’m so happy I found your post. It re-boost my confidence. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

By: Susan

Susan — Thu, 25 Oct 2012 03:11:36 +0000

Having same issues with the gym nursery and the same gut feeling after this last time of her hysterically crying – so good to hear others share my beliefs

By: Melinda

Melinda — Wed, 04 Jul 2012 13:06:17 +0000

I am finding I am able to “potty train” eailer with attachment parenting. I started holding my baby to go potty on a potty chair as early as 1 month. True I have to remember that she is a baby and won’t be able to truly control everything until about 2 years old. But the more time I am with her, the more I read her signals and the more I catch her showing me that she needs to potty.

By: Crystal Howard

Crystal Howard — Sun, 13 May 2012 03:20:00 +0000

I have recently been “accused” of Attachment Parenting. Today is my first time looking at information on Attachment Parenting. But reading stories like this one make me realize that I have been unknowingly practicing many Attachment Parenting principles. It seems to me to be common sense not to simply ignore my son’s tears and anguish. I have been truely hurt by some of the negative remarks I’ve received regarding my unwillingness to just “let him cry it out.” I am so glad to have read that I am indeed not alone.

By: Lisa Boulton

Lisa Boulton — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:02:48 +0000

I’ve just taken my little one out of nursery after a couple of weeks of short visits because we decided that he definitely isn’t ready at 13 months and the constant crying and stress is doing all of us more harm than good – plus the staff couldn’t cope. It’s reassuring to read that it’s likely he’ll eventually be ready at his own pace, we just have to be patient. The nice thing is that, as long as I’m not far away, he’s curious, independent and loves to explore, so I’m not too worried about him being over clingy. But, like Sharon, most friends and family think we’re too soft and our preference for attachment parenting has made him over sensitive. It’s always nice to know we’re not alone.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 22:53:47 +0000

At last, I no longer have to feel like the only mother who is uncomfortable leaving my child visibly upset. I to have been given advice by friends who tell me I am just too soft on my son and that it will only get harder for him if I dont leave him crying with a sitter whilst I take some me time. I now feel more confident in facing up to these people and standing up for my parenting beliefs

By: Lindsay Majewski

Lindsay Majewski — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 20:19:38 +0000

I am really thankful to have read this as well. My family has made comments lately that my 6 month old daughter has separation anxiety because she cries when certain people hold her. I really felt more hurt and disappointed when I heard this. I really felt that I was being judged as a parent and that my daughter was being judged as a baby. I didn’t appreciated other people’s negativity. I think one of the hardest parts of being a parent is dealing with other people’s perspectives on how you should parent. I believe strongly that I live my life based on what I believe to be good. I look forward to finding my voice and expressing that while I understand that we all see things differently that I would like to raise my daughter with my own instincts.