Comments on: To Intervene or Not? Deciding When and How to Get Involved in Another Parent’s Situation

By: michelle Dunne

michelle Dunne — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 02:28:49 +0000

Last week while I was in the children’s section of the library I heard a mother loudly threatening her four/five year old son that he’d BETTER start playing that computer game the RIGHT way or they would leave. After three or four rounds of this ( he was repeatedly trying to type his name), she told him she’d had enough of his goofing off and they had to leave. Rather than address her on the topic, I asked some inane question about library cataloging to try to distract her (or give her pause to think about how she was behaving) but she went right back to berating the child. She told him if he didn’t follow her , she’d leave him at the library , they’d turn off the lights, and a stranger would come to get him. The poor child put his head on the desk and moaned. Based on her cold reaction to my question, I really felt that I might be putting the child in more danger by addressing her – that maybe she would take her further ire out on him at home! Now, I really regret having failed to intervene. I have offered help to frsutrated parents in public many times, but I hesitated in the face of this woman’s big anger. Any advice for the future? I could have planted a seed……..

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 07:19:30 +0000

This is an excellent article. I think it is a good idea for people to prepare ahead of time so that when a situation unfolds, you’re ready for it. I had a situation come and go suddenly, and to this day I wish I would have said something. I was at Target and a woman was walking by with a baby in a carseat (in the cart). The baby had that familiar sounding newborn cry and was screaming – obviously in distress. The woman did nothing – she just walked up and down the aisles in the baby area and didn’t even peek under the blanket that was draped over the top of the carseat. I wanted to stop and ask her, simply, “Do you need some help?” What stopped me was the fact that she had a friend with her. Had she been alone, I would have been more likely to try and intervene. Because she had someone already there (I assume to help), I said nothing. In retrospect, even though she had a friend, it would have been the right thing to do. The baby was *so* distressed, and I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t scooping him/her into her arms.

By: one brain

one brain — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 14:33:54 +0000

I work in retail and unfortunately see parents emotionally abuse their children all the time. Can you give me some examples of what I can say to these parents? My interation with them is usually very brief.
For example, I may hear a parent name call. Such as “Hurry up, you are such a slow poke.” Or “No, you can’t have that candy bar. You are such a fatty already, no wonder you don’t have any friends.”
I also see parents walking around the store with their children screaming at the top of their lungs and the parent is ignoring them. I feel so sorry for these children!

By: Jan Hunt

Jan Hunt — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 03:08:13 +0000

Thank you for addressing this important issue, and for including an excerpt from one of my articles. We have several more on this subject at http://www.naturalchild.org/articles/child_advocacy.html .

My son Jason and I are preparing a new collection of stories on standing up for children in public places. If you have intervened successfully on behalf of a child in public, and would like to submit your story for inclusion in the book, please send it to intervention@naturalchild.org. All contributors whose stories are used will receive a gift copy of the book.