Comments on: Dr. Isabelle Fox on Overnight Visitations: As Harmful as We Suspect?

By: glockgrl

glockgrl — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 01:39:40 +0000

For: me&girls – make sure you keep meticulous notes I find it’s easiest to keep them in a calendar so you can keep your dates in order. Record everything visitation missed dates EVERYTHING!
If visitation is requested through the court then request an inspection of the property where the kids would be staying you could do some recon (pic) on your own if it is truely as un-sanitary as you described.
Check out your local & state laws for children allowed in rental.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 05 Mar 2013 17:42:00 +0000

Would just like to point out to the males who commented that this is geared to bashing the father that the author clearly states this is attachment based. She acknowledges that if the father or even grandparent is the primary caregiver then separation from that person at night is detrimental. Also, for those asking how is overnight separation any different than being at daycare or other daytime separation, this website has a good article about what make daytime separation different than nighttime separations.

By: The Attached Family

The Attached Family — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:28:40 +0000

Dear Anonymous,
We invite you to email us at editor@attachmentparenting.com for more information and support.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 05:50:24 +0000

I am an EXTREMELY DEVOTED single MOTHER of an ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL,INTELLIGENT,FUNNY, CARING, PRECIOUS little 3 1/2 year old girl. I was surprisingly in love with her father when she was concepted. Her father and I had a VERY short 4 month relationship. During this time he has been dishonest with me. I also know he has a DARK SIDE, finding out he is into freaky Alternative sex. That was definitely one reason why I broke up w/ him, and knowing that he has had 3 DUI’s in his life, he is 50. Before knowing all this we did speak of marriage etc… Well, THANK G*D I did NOT marry him, but I also THANK G*D that I met him because my daughter is my LIFE. When I found out I was pregnant, three weeks after I broke up w/ her father, he wasn’t surprised, but he wanted to marry me, and there was NO WAY I would marry him. I completely fell OUT of love with him, BUT I did want him in our child’s life on a real level. Lonnng… story, I REFUSED to give our daughter his last name for a few reasons: #1 WE ARE NOT MARRIED #2 His last name is NOT his biological last name, he changed it, so not one other person in his family have his last name anyway #3 HE’S A STRANGER!!! Since our daughetr was born, he has seen her 3X, and I didn’t file for child support until she was two. All of a sudden since he found out that he had to pay for child support, NOW he wants custody. Yes, when he saw our child, of course he played with her, spoke with her, but then NEVER CALLED. All he has EVER DONE was be EXTREMELY INTIMIDATING to me; GOT IN MY FACE RAISING HIS VOICE that he’s going to get OVER NIGHT visits. He lives with his father, he told me his father does not agree with him being involved in the 1st place. He also tell me he’s in a relationship (Which I am THRILLED about) he told me she has a child, when I SIMPLY asked,” Oh, how old?” He raised his voice tell me it’s NONE of MY BUSINESS. When asked how his father is, “He said he doesn’t need to tell me anything.” So, he wants over night visits and he’s really VERY UNSTABLE, I truly think he is bipolar but I’m not sure about that. His hads are very shaky, he told me he has a lung problem. I would want SUPERVISED visits, for a long while, then I would mind if he saw her everyday if she felt comfortable being alone with him, how can I ENFORCE NO OVERNIGHT VISITS??? How could I send her to a stranger’s house, he’s even a stranger to me. I DON’T KNOW HIM. I’m scared to death. Any suggestions? I believe he just wants her in his life to lower child support payments, and because he wants to SPITE ME. He does NOT have our daughet’s best interest at heart.

By: nick p

nick p — Sun, 17 Feb 2013 00:23:13 +0000

This has to be the worst artical i have ever read in my life. Fox is so dumb im sorry but to actually think that 1 the mother is automaticlly a primary parent is outragious the baby will only be harmed if the mother tries to keep the father away from bonding time with their child this is not equal to the father but more important the baby the baby should start having overnight asap this will allow the baby to easily bond with the child bc when they start to realize whats going on only then they will be effected by change they dont know untill yhere atleast one year old so the sooner the better soo within the first three months bonding as much as possable so when the child starts to have overnight he is comfortable with the father so theres no harm the baby will feel like he belongs there bc he is used to the father and reconises daddy just as much as he does mommy lack of equal parenting only hurtkids in the long run the more equal the better for the baby everyone who adds to thos is promom and lacks heart and soul for a childs needs and a fathers rights every child i know that is wiyh there mom more the dad or visversa only seems to be emotionally damaged from the feeling of abandedment the children with both parents eaqually raising there child are the happiest smartest kids in this world as long as the have parents do the right things and are not scumbags and show there kid love everyday i cant stress enought how important it is for the father to be an equal part of the vhilds life do the words equal and fair mean anything to these ppl bc thats exactly what a child needs to be well balanced sry for my lack of grammer but its commen sense theres no other way toraise ur kid beside the right way whivh is fair equal i cant belive how ignorant these ppl are by the way my son was raised with me and mother not together he was loved on both ends and was comfortable with both never for a second did he want mom more then dad i have the happes smartest baby i could ever ask for do the right thing for your child he neeeeds daddy just as much as mommy !!!

By: Miranda Lambert

Miranda Lambert — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 04:30:33 +0000

I recently am having trouble with my child. she is 2 years of age. At christmas when she came home after a week stay at her dads she refuses to put her coat on. When i finally get her to and take her to meet with him or his mother She is fine as long as i am there and when its time to leave with them she screams and says no sleep at daddys house. i sleep at mommys house. and when her dad picks her up she says she is scared and hides behind me and sometimes she covers her face so she doesn’t see him. I am now have more trouble with her. her whole attitude is changing so fast. she now spits, kicks, trys to bite. its just not her. she only does this when it is time for her to go to her dads. her dad doesn’t care about her. He just cares about his parenting time and he says its his time with her. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know if it is too much time with the overnights or if something else is going on for her to be scared of him like this. when i mention it to him his response is it is typical 2 year old behavior. I told him if it was 2 year old behavior it seems like she would do this stuff with every one not just him and his mother. I don’t know what to do

By: Good Mother

Good Mother — Thu, 24 Jan 2013 07:16:25 +0000

Well here is my story and I would love to hear from the men. My daughter was three years old when her father wanted to become involved, I was on my second child in a new relationship. He served me on Thanksgiving with his new girl friend at my new address. He wanted joint custody, at the time he served me he tried to take her from my home by force. Now mind you he lives with his mother still does and was unemployed when he first put us in the system,he is employed now. He worked for 5 months in 2009 was fired, now this is his second job in the 9 1/2 years of our daughters life. We are going back to court after he physically attacked me and I stopped visitations. He filed a contempt charge that I have to fight. In his paper work he has said that I am a physically and mentally abusive mother.I provide 100% of her care and he now wants more weekends. So because he is her father does he deserve it? So when you read post don’t be so judgmental because there are some fathers out there that are full of (expletive). If the shoe fits wear it.

By: Nicola

Nicola — Wed, 05 Dec 2012 14:20:03 +0000

I resent the comment about absent fathers wanting overnights to reduce child support. I see the issue from both sides being married to a parent without care and having a best friend who is a single parent with care. Both have overnight visitation agreements. Daytime visitation is not possible due to distance apart. My friends son is 2 and has done this all his life happily. My stepson is ten and bar nine horrific months when his mother decided overnights were ‘damaging’ he has had overnights. If we didn’t he would barely see his brothers or father, being at school in the day and too far for evening visits.

Ps, the nine months he didn’t get overnights were the most damaging. He thought we didn’t want him to stay because his mother hadn’t explained why. He lost a lot of confidence due to the feeling of rejection..

By: Bailey

Bailey — Mon, 03 Dec 2012 15:09:15 +0000

My daughter is a single mother whom had no idea that you have to make sacrifices when you decide to become a parent… In saying that, I(the grandmother) have been there for my grandson since birth. I was the one whom got up with him during the night when my daughter slept through his cries the first few weeks of life.

I did not plan on raising my 26 year old daughters child but this baby needed me and I have had the pure pleasure of helping in raising my grandson. I use the word helping very loosely as my daughter puts her own needs and wants ahead of her childs and leaves all of the sacrificing to me…Which are not sacrifices to me as I love him with all of my heart.

I am past willing to do this for him as my love for my grandson is so very deep…He is a true blessing…

My grandson not only spent his days(10+hours per day) with me but also would spend several nights as well.

The biological Father, by his own choice, is not involved at all and has not made any attempt to see my grandson…I am happy to say that he is in prison right now for operating a drug house and has been in and out of juvenile, jail and prison since he was 15. He is a very dangerous man that served another 4 year sentence prior to this for breaking in a persons home and beating them almost to death while stealing their money and items in their home. This man deals in hardcore drugs such as crack, heroine, ecstasy and many more.

My Grandson and I have a true bond and since he was 5 months old, he has been rejecting her.

My Grandson has been showing stress when his Mother is present since he has been 5 months old. He screams when she walks in the door and would hit her if she got close to him.

The hitting turned to biting and every single day that she arrives to pick him up from my home, he gets extremely stressed and cries at the sight of her. He will not let her get close to him and I have to carry him out to her car because he will not let her touch him.

This completely breaks my heart and talking to my daughter about it only makes things worse. My daughter is not someone that listens to reason or even capable of having a conversation like this because when I gently bring up his stress, which is so obvious to her, she yells, swears and leaves my home with the baby very angrily.

My daughter is very moody, to say the least and when I bring this up, she gets even angrier and threatens that I will never see the baby again.

My Grandson would prefer to be with me as his behavior shows this. I was the one whom bonded with him as his mother felt that sleep was more important than feedings and diaper changes.

My Grandson needs me, I am his only security and his only voice as he is unable to speak for himself.

Seven weeks ago, I frantically called my daughter wondering where my grandson was. I am rarely away from my grandson and when I could not reach her, I panicked. I was so afraid that she had left him with some stranger or even worse.

Bare with me as I needed to give a little background so maybe someone out there whom is a licensed child psychologist or has been in a similar situation
could give me a little direction.

Turns out that my daughter drove, with my grandson, to a prison 9 hours from her home to visit the drug dealer/bio father…

My grandson does not do well in a vehicle but once again, my daughter put her own needs ahead of my grandson. Not to mention that I do not believe a prison is a good place to take a 16 month old!!!

I am trying to make this as short as possible as there is just so much more to the story but I will get to my point.

My daughter thinks she is going to spend her life with the prisoner when he is eligible for parole in 2014.

I, needless to say, was very upset and without thinking it through, even though I know my daughter’s temper toward me, I told her that I was going to seek custody and prevent her from raising my grandson in a drug infested home.

My daughter told me that I would never see my grandson again.

This has been hell. A total nightmare…

My husband and I, along with my youngest daughter, went to see the best, well known attorney, only to find out that Grandparents do not have any rights over there grandchildren, although it is so evident that my grandson is more secure with me and shows this openly.

My daughter has prevented me from seeing him and is leaving him with anyone and everyone.

My youngest daughter, however, was allowed to see him after 3 weeks at my daughter’s home. My youngest daughter told me that my grandson was acting very violent and aggressive. The attorney said that he did speak with a child psychologist and stated that this was one of the signs of separation.

It has been 7 agonizing weeks worrying for my grandson’s safety and well being…

Then just today, my daughter called me and said that she would drop him off for an hour so I could see him. She had something to do and I was more than willing to spend any amount of time that I could with him. That hour turned into the best 3 and a half hours since this nightmare began.

My Grandson is very different now. He is withdrawn and just so different. Difficult for me to put into words.

When my daughter showed up, my grandson clung onto me and started crying, he then started hitting his own head very hard. He once again would not let her near him and continued to hit himself in the head.

I gently brought this up to her and she flew off the handle and yelled, swore and left with the baby angrily as he was reaching out for me and once again told me that I would never see him again and neither would my youngest daughter….

The courts are of no help to us. They suggested child protective services but as my attorney stated, unless there is physical or visual abuse, the chances are slim to none that it would even be looked at.

My daughter on the other hand called me to tell me that she already contacted child protective services and told them that I was crazy and trying to take her baby away from her. My daughter is a manipulator and I feel like my hands are tied and am looking and praying for some kind of direction to turn. My grandson is suffering and I feel so helpless in my lost efforts in trying to save him….

If anyone out there has been or is going through a similar situation, I am eagerly seeking some direction.

By: Penny

Penny — Tue, 20 Nov 2012 20:33:47 +0000

My Grandson was put in a 50/50 custody arrangement at 18 months old. He was only with his Mother full time until then. He has to be taken from his Mother at 7 p.m. Friday until the following Friday. The Father is a Firefighter and works 72 hour shifts. During this time my Grandson is with his other Grandmother.

This has been such a terrible strain on my Grandson and his Mother. He now has a stammer and hides when anyone rings the doorbell.
I’m disgusted with the Florida court system for enforcing this!!