Comments on: Helping Children Become Independent

By: Mira’nın Bahçesi » Doğal Ebeveynlik tembel annelerin tercihi mi?

Mira’nın Bahçesi » Doğal Ebeveynlik tembel annelerin tercihi mi? — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 13:26:23 +0000

[...] Yapamadıklarında yanlarında oluyorlar ama onlar adına yapmaya kalkmıyorlar. Doğal anneler de bağımlı çocuk değil bağımsız ama bağlı çocukları olmasını arzuluyorlar. Tüm NORMAL anneler [...]

By: MommaDunne

MommaDunne — Fri, 10 Sep 2010 11:29:09 +0000

Emi makes a good point. I have noticed that my most securely attached child (last of 6, first truly AP child) displays his dislike for things openly and feels free to let us know when he is not finished with something if we are ready to change gears before he is. Counterwill doesn’t necessarily mean insecurity. Or perhaps I am misunderstanding the definition of Counterwill?

from the article,” Through secure attachment, your child receives the rest and security he needs for the emergent process to unfold without getting stuck.. ….Your presence provided the security for his emergent energy to unfold. When you left, his need for attachment overshadowed his emergence.”

I have not yet found much info here on parents new to AP trying to re-attach with children older than 10. An older child”stuck in immaturity” needs lots of physical touch adn reassurance. It is one of the reasons we decided to homeschool midstream….I would love to hear more form older families in remediation!

By: Emi

Emi — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 23:54:54 +0000

I agree with you overall, however might it not also follow that children who are securely attached would also feel “safe” to disagree and have their own opinions and wants so that just because they are displaying some counterwill behaviors does not mean the are insecurely attached?