I am about to return to work 4 days a week. Not because I need to but because I believe it is most right for my life (future security and continued life development). It is my dream job…the job I have wanted for 6 years and I just believe in my bones that it is the right thing to do. But I am sooooo scared that making this decision will impact my beautiful son in ways I might not be able to see….and if that is the case there IS NO WAY I WOULD TAKE THE ROLE.

I am sooooo torn and thought I might find advice that could help me mitigate the impact on him. We have hired a beautiful, caring and artistic nanny who I would be happy for my son to emulate. I still breastfeeding on demand and we co-sleep.

I always find such truth in your articles….and if this is true too (and I just can’t see it because of my own desires and closures) then I am a horrid mother.

My son is 16 months…

Oh god should I not return to work?

Sure, I felt guilty about sending her to daycare initially, but now at age 2, I see a marvelously independent kiddo who navigates easily through social situations, is potty trained, and loves the structure and opportunities to explore that her daycare provides to her days. These developments were all a pleasant surprise to a mom that had never before stepped foot into a daycare setting.

I’m grateful for the opportunities that daycare has afforded me to pay back my ridiculous medical school debt while further honing my professional skills–in fact, I have become “the breastfeeding person” in our family medicine office, being contacted by colleagues and residents and medical students and immunity lactation consultants (!) to help moms and babies. I have saved a few breastfeeding relationships through the knowledge I’ve acquired at conferences (some of which I’ve taken my daughters to) and the experience I have been accruing, and I love helping to empower parents to use their intuition in caring for their children by having open minded discussions about vaccines and sleeping arrangements. All of these interactions to promote healthy families have happened while my daughter has been at daycare learning how to express herself firmly yet nonviolently as she explores her independence. To me, this is a win-win.

Women work for income outside “the home” EVERYWHERE in the world. And they ALWAYS HAVE. There is no detriment to parent or child from using non-maternal care when that care is of high quality from a consistent caregiver.

Also, motherhood is a woman’s most important job? Really? More important than, say, developing a vaccine that saves millions of lives? More important than defending in court those who can’t afford to hire a lawyer? More important than making money to provide food, clothing, and shelter to that child? How do you define “motherhood?”

What about women who cannot or don’t have children? Have they missed out on the “MOST IMPORTANT JOB A WOMAN CAN HAVE”? Are they somehow inferior as women and less important because of their childlessness? Bullshit.

Your article is a load of crap with no basis in science and very poorly argued.

Basically, STFU.

API should support all moms who want to practice attachment parenting, whether they work or not. If API is trying to say that only stay at home moms can practice attachment parenting, they should just say so. I will get my advice on attachment parenting and positive discipline elsewhere from now on.

This article was poorly written. There is no need to judge who is better. All that does is create a divide, a battle. Aren’t we as attachment parents trying to teach our children NOT to do that?! I find very few situations in which I feel compelled to pass judgment. Maybe others can do the same and we can have a more peaceful world.