Comments on: Embracing Positive Discipline’s Challenges

By: The Attached Family » Embracing Positive Discipline's Challenges | Family Advice

Sat, 27 Oct 2012 11:35:52 +0000

[...] No matter who we are, where we live, or where … Read the … … Follow this link: The Attached Family » Embracing Positive Discipline's Challenges ← Special Needs Parenting: Does It Get Easier? | Friendship Circle [...]

By: It matters to me: Connection before Correction | Human In Recovery

It matters to me: Connection before Correction | Human In Recovery — Wed, 24 Oct 2012 19:04:51 +0000

[...] That’s when the Home Visitor brought up a weekend seminar she had participated in about Positive Discipline and the concept of Connection before Correction. [...]

By: Romelia Santaella

Romelia Santaella — Wed, 30 May 2012 08:02:20 +0000

I was suggested this blog by my cousin. You’re incredible! Thanks!

By: Elaine

Elaine — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:29:38 +0000

I am interested in the “it rewards poor behavior” paragraph because I have a lot of sympathy with the approach that poor behavior is an expression of a need, but I am not sure that is always the case, for example if a toddler is being aggressive to other children because he/she wants a toy – that is not a real “need” in the way an infant cries to express a need for being held or fed. In the case of the infant of course the crying is not “bad behavior” and it is important to respond by cuddling and meeting the need. But if a toddler bites another because he/she wants a toy, is this really a need? And is there some element of truth to saying that such behavior should not be rewarded if the toddler is to learn it is wrong?

By: Shelli

Shelli — Wed, 25 May 2011 22:11:19 +0000

This article is helpful, but more simple, concrete examples of behaviors and positive discipline actions to take may have helped the reader understand the logic behind this style of parenting. I like Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s Non Violent Communication is great for this, in fact, I have a “cheat sheet” I have posted in several rooms in the house where parenting is challenging at times.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Sat, 21 May 2011 22:08:28 +0000

Yes, positive discipline is always the first choice. What you are not mentioning is the child with any type of developmental delay. Safety is always first when parenting a toddler and preschooler with a developmental delay. Respect, choices, positive reinforcements (no I do not mean M&M’s), praise, all within the child’s developmental abilities. Without discipline with love, forethought and adult knowledge of a child’s developmental levels, logical consequences and love– obstacles will become horrendous for social/emotional/behavioral skills development. In my career Infant Specialist I made home visits, with parent training, in all developmental areas, with a team of OT, PT, SpTh, Psych, SW, Feeding Spec., etc., I am also a parent of a diagnosed LD/AD/HD, now 36 yr. old, (born with cord around his neck). I shudder to think who he would be today without the loving guidance of many professionals and moms, and my educational development, which has never stopped. I was told at his birth, “send him away, you can have another, he will never do anything”. I devoted my life to planting seeds of love, respect, and common sense with so many families, lucky to see so many miracles. Discipline is not a dirty word, my son explained himself once at 4, Mom I feel like a runaway car w/no brakes and my engine doesn’t remember how to shift, help me learn to stop my car please! He is 6’10″ has never had a fight, drugs etc., is married to a lovely young lady. He will never go to college but works hard driving a truck and as a janitor. One day in a store he said to a mom where a child was throwing and hysterical, as she talked endlessly, Oh Jimmy it is ok, you can stop….my son said ‘mystified’, Mam he can’t hear you he is hysterical, your just confusing him more, let me sit w/him and he did, humming Row your Boat song (of all the silly things, ha). He said, when the boy was quiet, can you hear mommy now? the boy said, “can you tell her ssssh and the song for the next time”. My son said, are you sad or angry, the boy said ‘tired’, My son told the mom, Mam as long as he is safe just give him some quiet and he will, learn how to control himself. So the mom was angry and said Oh what about when he throws his trucks, My son said, You could get dangerous things out of the way, so he can learn to control himself without awful consequences, I am handicapped and I learned. Then she cried, My son said, It is ok mam, it is good to see a little one with ‘normal’ development, and they laughed. She took his phone no. and they stayed friends and my son went to his HS graduation! Yes, I did time out, in a room with nothing that could hurt him, Yes, I ignored some behaviors, BUT life has logical consequences children must learn w/love.

By: Clare

Clare — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:48:01 +0000

This is a great article – thank you.
I would also like to add though, that parents can start raising their babies with kindness and respect from the very start, day one.
My husband and I were very lucky to learn about Dr Emmi Pikler before we had our daughter. Her work is based around that key word RESPECT, and its amazing when you really start to think and learn how to work with a baby with full respect. Its a long way off what we are used to doing in this society.
For example talking to your baby, letting her know you are going to pick her up (before you pick her up, give it a little time to sink in), change her nappy, lift her legs, leave the room. Asking for her particapation with putting an arm in a sleeve, lifting her legs etc etc. And before long your baby starts to work with you, its amazing! (ie a couple of weeks old)
So yes… ‘kindness and respect’ is a fabulous model we can give our children and our babies.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:28:22 +0000

Isnt this just giving its own excuse to allow children to lack discipline? I am a mother of 5, while I dont spank my children there is negative punishment for negative behavior its real world, I dont believe in coddling children, if they make a mistake that is one thing, but a blatant disrespectful behavior needs a proper correction, be it a time out or whatever the parent chooses. This suggest that when the child is doing something wrong, let them continue and find out on their own that its wrong, so if a child hits another child, we should reward them with positive? No I dont think so..

By: Embracing Positive Discipline’s Challenges

Embracing Positive Discipline’s Challenges — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 17:48:16 +0000

[...] and trust, rather than on longing and fear. American parenting educator Kelly Bartlett continues on The Attached Family online magazine. window.fbAsyncInit = function() { FB.init({appId: "", status: true, cookie: true, xfbml: true}); [...]

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 07:47:02 +0000

Thank you for this well written, supportive and informative article. I especially like the way you’ve dealt with the “complaints” about Positive Discipline by reframing them into what it truly means to provide discipline to children. I also really appreciated the suggestions for taking a step-by-step approach to transitioning to using Positive Discipline tools – thanks again!