Comments on: Breastfeeding on Demand is OK

By: Hannah

Hannah — Thu, 03 May 2012 23:08:48 +0000

I feed on demand just because that felt natural, along with co sleeping. I didn’t even know there was a term for on demand feeding. My baby is very happy only cries when she can read my stress or her gums hurt. I try my best to be a relaxed Mom and things go great. I am very lucky.

By: Mar

Mar — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:37:27 +0000

Love this! I could’ve written this word for word. I get a lot of people telling me that I’m teaching my daughter bad habits since I still nurse on demand and to sleep. Usually I bite my tongue, but sometimes I refer to the African tribes and tell them how happy my baby is, and how she rarely cries.

I also have to say that nursing on demand made the newborn phase super easy to live through! I can’t imagine not nursing on demand.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 06:46:56 +0000

I have to say that I can sympathize with the first poster because I’ve been there done that and it’s so nerve wracking, especially with other needy kids to take care of. My first was easy going and although she had terrible reflux (projectile vomiting, couldn’t sleep laying down for 4 mos) she never cried. She was BF somewhere between on demand and schedule (it would just evolve into a schedule). 2nd one had reflux but screamed all the time (still can scream loud at 14 mos but she is happy) – screamed to BF, screamed while burping, screamed when tired. The only place she could sleep was in the moby while swaddled the first few months. Again did the same method of BFing for her. Each child can be so different even if you use the same methods.

All in all though I do agree with BFing on demand – that’s what we were designed to do

By: Uma

Uma — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 13:29:16 +0000

All three of my babies hardly ever cried. When they did it was probably a bit of pain somewhere. I will never forget attending a La Leche League conference, having lunch in a large school gymnasium with a couple hundred attendees. There were 200 babies there and no crying! You might hear the beginning of a cry but it didn’t last long. That’s the beauty of attachment parenting.

I’ve breastfed on beaches, buses, planes, in restaurants, parks…you name it. I’ve breastfed while pushing a stroller! One trick about having a baby who “never cries” is to be cued in to their signals. Watch for the warning signals of hunger/discomfort – don’t wait for the cry to respond. I attended a group meditation and breastfed my baby in the middle of it – and nobody even noticed a baby was there!

I knew the consistency of my milk depending on how I was feeling, the time of day, or what came out of my baby’s diaper. If I or the baby were sick, the milk modified itself to become soothing medicine.

Breastfeeding, and parenting, is a skill that takes lots of practice and dedication. If AP were more a part of our culture; if feminists lobbied to make the world not only gender-equal but parenting-friendly, AP practices would be the norm and babies would come with mom to the workplace or we would have wonderful maternity leaves as in Sweden.

There is neurobiological proof that attachment bonds are important – what tuned in moms always knew instinctively!

By: Julinda

Julinda — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:36:50 +0000

LOL – I told my story in my comment but didn’t make any point related to the story. My point was that even my fussy older son didn’t cry as long as he was held and nursed as desired. (I don’t like “on demand” as it sounds like our babies are little dictators! And I didn’t wait until they “demanded.”) Breastfeeding was usually the magic cure for everything.

By: Julinda

Julinda — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:33:51 +0000

Great article. I fed mine whenever they wanted when I was with them, and didn’t use a sling but hubby and I carried them as much as they wanted. I did work full-time outside they home and they didn’t have access to me then, but except when my older one was in a home daycare (2 months to 12 months – I try not to have regrets but I know he didn’t get the attention he needed) they always had access to loving arms and milk when they wanted it. My hubby and I worked opposite hours for 10 years to make it possible.

By: Mandy

Mandy — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 21:04:44 +0000

Oh friends its nice to see/read encouraging and supportive words!
Dear Sarah(the first commenter)As I read your comment my body could feel the stress and emotion you poured into it. As someone else commented on here, keep your head held high knowing you are listening to your mommy instincts! You are a very strong woman, you must be to be raising your babies and doing it alone for the most part! You are doing your best. Thats all any of us can do our very best! I think sometimes as women we forget to do self care to keep us going. For someone in Sarah’s shoes it would be very difficult to do self care because she sounds like she is on her own quite a bit. But we need it no matter how small or limited our time for it is. Maybe just our kind and loving comments to her will carry her through.

By: Sarah E.

Sarah E. — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 17:29:12 +0000

Sarah W. – assuming that parent’s with quiet babies just have ‘easy babies’ is just as judgemental as saying parent’s of criers aren’t taking care of their child’s needs. One blames the parent while the other gives the parent no credit for their hard work.

Sounds like your baby has sensory issues or stomach/pain problems, or is reacting to the stress in your household. My mom always said that military babies were the loudest babies because they couldn’t handle the stress and tension they felt from their mothers (she was a military wife with young children who moved constantly).

By: AnnS

AnnS — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 14:38:08 +0000

I have read about this – mainly African babies, where carrying and on-demand feeding is the norm. I, too, carried both of mine, but my first was terribly colicky, the second i discovered none of us do well with dairy, and alleviated the colic there. But I have to say it was pure laziness that I didn’t schedule anyone. Because that would have meant that I would have had to schedule, and frankly, I like to go with the flow. You know as much as 40-something working mother under the age of five can do I still can’t say how much my youngest nurses, or for how long. But I do know parenting has been far more relaxed this go-round, despite having two. He asks, I nurse. Ten seconds? ten minutes? an hour? doesn’t matter! If I have to do stuff, I put him in the Ergo carrier and nurse on the go!

By: Ashley

Ashley — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:45:45 +0000

re: Sarah’s comment:

I think it’s really important to support our whole village, AP mommas/pappas, ESPECIALLY those who need extra support!

I’ve had many days where I had had enough of other people insinuating they know how to make my baby cry less, be happier, etc, to the point where I started to see unsolicited advice everywhere, even if that was not the reality of the situation (or article).

Sarah, babies cry… they sometimes cry for no reason. Not because you’re not holding, feeding or loving them enough. Google PURPLE crying… Colic is pretty outdated, but PURPLE crying is a more evidence based approach to infants crying.

The research the doctor in the article was referring to showed that babies worn cry considerably LESS than north american babies, but it did not say they never cried! He was misrepresenting the findings. Who knows how much crying you prevent by loving and mothering your upset child, rather than just leaving her to cry, or to be hungry.. full babies would not try to latch onto the breast, so it’s easy to tell when they are or are not hungry The pacifier myth mentioned above is just that, a myth.. it’s usually more of a lack of access to milk-flow, but that’s a whole other thing. Where I work, at the Newman Clinic in Toronto, we see inconsolable, crying babies a lot. Often reeated for colic/gas… but once momma learns to full them up at the breast the behaviour changes. Something to consider? Check out http://www.nbci.ca for good information sheets on how to tell if your baby is full It can be life changing!!

What wonderful work you do for your babe, conforting her while she cries.. feeding her when she needs to be fed, and all while mothering a busy young family while your partner is deployed. I can’t imagine the strength you must find to do what you do for your family, and for our future parents! She is learning valuable lessons from you, and if I can say so, I bet you’re learning many from her.

Keep on keepin’ on! We can’t forget that attachment parenting means you are attached to your child, and know what YOUR family needs. It’s not a list of rules to follow or else – that would be awfully detached from your family, and instead, attached to the rule book, no?