I had back labor for my first child, I spent most of it in the shower, standing and hot water beating on my lower back to deal with the pain, then sat on the bed from there with my husband putting intense pressure in my lower back, it was to the point he had his foot jabbed in my lower back. I couldnt take the pain anymore and told him lets go to the hospital, I could handle it, he kept telling me “Your going to get drugs!” and at that point I was in so much pain and didnt want to hear anything, just get me to the hospital. As soon as we got in the car I had the urge to push. Hospital was 5 min away, I was wheeled in middle of the night unable to walk cause I was pushing with contractions. The staff looked at me like “Yeah right” when I said I was ready. They examined me and said SHES READY and wheeled me off to deliver. I had my son 15 min after arrival, my water broke on the table when I got on it (laying on your back with back labor is horrid, you want to be upright to deal with the pain) But I was fine and with it once the baby was there. The dr said “Well you did it, you got what you wanted” that was one of the pluses to all this, that I told a doc what I wanted who doubted me and I was “In your face!” if you will. She did cut me, episiotomy, but otherwise nothing else was given, no IV, nada. I breastfed fine and everything went well.

Second birth I had a midwife an hour away that was covered by ins and had a birth center. My water broke middle of the night but was more like a small dribble gradual. We called and she said if I started to feel pain, as I wasnt, call back, it started after I hung up, I phoned back and she told me to head out. We drove our hour with me breathing thru contractions.

I did water birth, but to be honest I was so out of it when I got there nothing mattered other then getting the baby out. She manipulated my cervix with her hand, she used homepathic remedies she said that soften the lining, that I took later in the pregnancy. I had my second son within an hr after arrival, and didnt tear enough for even a stitch. She ordered food of our choice( i wanted Dennys grand slam) My baby stayed in the room, which was like a bedroom. And I went home in a few hours, I was almost shocked how soon they let me go home. And it never stung to go pee afterwards like the last one!

I had ideal births, and I must say. I dont like being pregnant and I dont like labor, ITS HURTS. I dont wish for an epidural or pain meds either. But despite it going well, IT HURTS. And Im not a woman who has forgotten that once the baby came as other say. I remember. IT HURTS!!!! And back labor OUCH that is rough.

I wasnt sick all through my prenancies, in good health, and Im just not big on the whole ordeal. So we are all different.

I am glad I did it and have great stories to tell and feel empowered, but I also dont want to do it again. Id rather adopt.

My planned home water birth ended in an emergency cesarean which i would class as only mildly traumatic, but i too had an amazing high afterwards and it did last weeks. Compared to any joy i’d know pre-baby, this was off the scale!

I was told natural labouring would give me the highs, make breastfeeding easier, and mean a shorter recovery but i ‘only’ got to 3cm during my 30 hour labour and breastfeeding was terribly tough, so it makes no sense to me… My husband said the pain fell away from my face as the epidural took effect.
On reflection i think the preparation we do for a natural birth can be very helpful afterwards when dealing with the trauma but taking a flexible attitude so that you can move on to plan b, plan c or even make it up as you go, is vital, and your partner needs to feel the same way. the change in plan may be changing caregivers or supporters – you never know what’s going to happen and have to try and be ‘ready for anything’.

Being told to be greatful for what you’ve got when you’re feeling overwhelmed with trauma is fairly typical (and a few people said it to me) but it’s so unhelpful!!! Having said that, I recently suffered a late miscarriage and at that point I was already terrified about the birth, i’d spent hours researching and agonising about how my much-loved unborn baby was going to make it into the world. So next time round i am going to find some calm in my heart and go with the flow, and i know i will be greatful for my baby, but wow what did i suffer to get to that point (i am still hoping for another high though!).
Do we make too much of all of this?? i try and tell myself that i do…..