Fast forward to today and this same boy, now age four, will only eat black olives if they have a perfect “x” on the bottom, chicken has to be cubed, with no sear marks from the grill or “black spots”, eggs need to have cheese, but the cheese must be fully melted, hidden and not gooey or stringy. Fruits will only be eaten if pureed like baby food and veggies are never eaten (I hide these in turkey burgers, muffins and pancakes).

Where did we go wrong? We didn’t realize two things: (1) taste buds are developed…if you start to give treats, such as a quick run through a fast-food joint for chicken nuggets which are laden with salt – an addictive food or start giving lollipops on occasion, etc. then taste buds get accustomed to those salty and sugary foods and your child is less likely to eat peas and carrots (2) biologically, we never ate sugary foods and grains thousands of years ago. Although we have evolved, our body’s ability to give us a “full” signal when we eat grains and sugar isn’t yet developed. These two reasons is why it is much easier to sit down on the couch and eat a bag of chips or m&ms then a bag of carrots. Carrots take some maturity and willpower, if your body is used to junk food.

When our second son was born, we became so overwelmed that we started eating pizza, mac n cheese and other fast foods, although this was against our former eating habits. Our oldest son became used to these foods and it has been quite a journey to turn that around.

Control is also HUGE with 2-4 year olds and dictating what kids can eat, cajoling and bargaining simply backfire! So here is what we have done that works!

1. We create small snack trays with a little bit of a wide variety of foods. We might serve 2-3 bites of turkey burger (that is made with eggs for extra protein and pureed veggies) 2-3 bites of fruit 2-3 bites of a fat, such as olives and 2-3 bites of a food they go crazy for like gluten-free pasta, rice or homemade muffins (again packed with veggies).
2. We back off. If the kids only eat the muffins and fruit and leave the rest we just put it back in the fridge. Today, our youngest has only eaten four sticks of cheese and two handfuls of raisins.
3. We set an example (our Paleo diet is a bounty of colorful foods)
4. We don’t give treats. If the kids ask for something sweet, we serve muffins, 80% chocolate or Paleo cookies which are low in sugar and gluten-free. I keep these cookies in my purse and that’s what my kids eat at the grocery store instead of bakery cookies. These items are available as much as they want. Because I know that they are healthy, yummy and packed full of goodness, I don’t have to bargain or plead for them to only eat a small amount and oddly, they have never sat down and eaten an entire tray of muffins or an entire chocolate bar. We go out for ice cream that is very low in sugar and only eat pizza every 6-8 weeks and have one slice each, not a whole pie with leftovers the next day.

I would love to see my kids munching on sweet baby peppers with guacamole dip, like I do, but someday they will. Right now, the lesson for me is that I’m helping my children feel secure in their own decisions, meal time is a joy instead of a battle field and my kids are getting plenty of nutrition thanks to strategic choices.

Am wondering our way forward on snacks. Our toddler didn’t eat very much at all (breastfed) for so long, that now that she actually likes and asks for food (apples, bananas, bread, raw tomatoes, grapes, even olives !), we always give it to her, so snack times determined by her not by us, also (healthy) snacking at any time of day. Is this a good thing or bad thing ?