Tag Archives: nurturing touch

The Importance of Skin-to-Skin Contact

By Jack Newman, MD, & Teresa Pitman

Editor Rita Brhel doing Kangaroo Care with her premature daughterWe now have a multitude of studies that show mothers and babies should be together, skin-to-skin (baby naked, not wrapped in a blanket), the baby’s neck extended slightly so his head is in “sniffing position,” immediately after birth – and they should spend as much time together skin-to-skin as possible in the days that follow. The baby is happier, the baby’s temperature is more stable and more normal, the baby’s heart and breathing rates are more stable and normal, and the baby’s blood sugar levels are better.

Not only that – skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth allows the baby to be colonized by the same bacteria as the mother. This, plus breastfeeding, are thought to be important in the prevention of allergic diseases. When a baby is put into an incubator, his skin and gut are often colonized by bacteria different from his mother’s and studies show that the baby is much more likely to adjust to his new world, metabolically speaking, when he is skin-to-skin with the mother than if he is in that incubator.

We now know that this is true not only for the baby born at term and in good health but also for the premature baby. Skin-to-skin contact and Kangaroo Mother Care can contribute much to the care of the premature baby. Even babies on oxygen can be cared for skin-to-skin, and this helps reduce their need for oxygen and keeps them more stable in other ways as well.

From the point of view of breastfeeding, babies who are kept skin-to-skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour are more likely to latch on without any help, and they are more likely to latch on well, especially if the mother did not receive medication during labor or birth. Putting mother and baby skin-to-skin can also be a valuable first step in solving any breastfeeding difficulties they are having.

There is no reason that the vast majority of babies cannot be skin-to-skin with the mother immediately after birth for at least an hour. Hospital routines, such as weighing the baby, should not take precedence. Of course, there is also no reason a baby cannot be back skin-to-skin with the mother immediately after the hospital routines are done.

The baby should be dried off and put on the mother. Nobody should be pushing the baby to do anything; nobody should be trying to help the baby latch on during this time. The mother, of course, may make some attempts to help the baby, usually in response to the baby’s behaviors showing some interest in going to the breast, and this should not be discouraged. The mother and baby should just be left in peace to enjoy each other’s company. The mother and baby should not be left alone, however, especially if the mother has received medication. It is important that not only the mother’s partner but also a nurse, midwife, doula, or physician stay with them – occasionally, some babies do need medical help and someone qualified should be there “just in case.”

The eye drops and the injection of vitamin K can wait a couple of hours. By the way, immediate skin-to-skin contact can also be done after Cesarean section, even while the mother is getting stitched up, unless there are medical reasons that prevent it.

Studies have shown that even premature babies as small as 1200 grams (2 pounds 10 ounces) are more stable metabolically, including the level of their blood sugars, and breathe better if they are skin-to-skin immediately after birth. The need for an intravenous infusion, oxygen therapy, or a nasogastric tube, for example, or all the preceding, does not preclude skin-to-skin contact. Skin-to-skin contact is quite compatible with other measures taken to keep the baby healthy.

Of course, if the baby is quite sick, the baby’s health must not be compromised, but any premature baby who is not suffering from respiratory distress syndrome can be skin-to-skin with the mother immediately after birth. Indeed, in the premature baby, as in the full-term baby, skin-to-skin contact may decrease rapid breathing into the normal range.

Even if the baby does not latch on during the first hour or two, skin-to-skin contact is still good and important for the baby and the mother for all the other reasons mentioned.

I have heard of a few cases where a mother had planned not to breastfeed but was still urged by hospital staff to hold her baby skin-to-skin. After doing this for a short period of time and seeing her baby gravitate to her breast, these mothers decided to breastfeed after all. The effects of this simple technique are powerful! In fact, one could say that skin-to-skin contact is even more important if the mother does not breastfeed so that the mother and baby have this special opportunity to “fall in love with each other.”

The Case for Skin-to-Skin Contact Between Mother and Baby, Whether Full-term or Premature
In summary, skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth that lasts for at least an hour has the several positive effects. These babies:

  • Are more likely to latch on, and to latch on well.
  • Have more stable and normal skin temperatures.
  • Have more stable and normal heart rates and blood pressures.
  • Have high blood sugars.
  • Are less likely to cry.
  • Are more likely to breastfeed exclusively longer.

Excerpted from The Latch and Other Keys to Breastfeeding Success by Newman, J., and Pitman, T. (2006) Amarillo, TX: Hale Publishing. (pp. 9-12) www.ibreastfeeding.com

Help Your Toddler Bond with the New Baby

By Naomi Aldort, author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

**Originally published in the Spring 2008 New Baby issue of The Journal of API

Siblings“Mommy, why do you need another Yonatan?” asked my first-born, looking at my growing belly. I hugged him and said, “I do not need another Yonatan. There is no other Yonatan. You are the only ‘you’ there will ever be, and I love you so much.”

No matter how much we explain and include a young child in welcoming his new sibling, he will not comprehend this concept any more than you would welcome another lover for your spouse.

In an extended family, the situation is a lot easier, as mom is not the only caregiver. In the nuclear family, a seven-year-old would happily welcome a new baby as a wonderful addition, but a toddler or a young child who is still seeing himself as the needy one will have a lot of inner turmoil and needs your reassurance that he is still your darling child. Continue reading Help Your Toddler Bond with the New Baby

AP and the Growing Child

By Susan Esserman-Schack, Leader of API of Bergen County, NJ

Susan & family
Susan & family

I have a new baby in my family – he is now 17 months old. My last baby was born 10 years earlier. The one before that was born two years prior to my second. When I look at my new baby, all I see is joy and love in his eyes. All his intentions are true and pure. He is my newest angel. I know that he does not manipulate or judge, his wants are his needs, and I have no problem meeting them. He nurses and all is right with the world. He sleeps and truly looks like an angel, our dream has come true.

I remember looking adoringly at my first two babies. I loved to watch them sleep – and trusted their souls completely. I watched them grow, and they taught me so much about what it meant to be a happy family. They knew what they needed, and had no problem letting me know. They both nursed until they felt that they did not need to breastfeed any longer.

The challenges began as they grew.

I always believed in following my instincts about parenting and caring for my babies. There was no word for Attachment Parenting when I had my first, and I really just relied on what my heart was telling me to do. As I parent now, I still do the same thing. No rules to follow, just follow my heart. I know I cannot make a mistake this way, as my instincts and my children will lead the way. As my children grew, there was an abundance of information about what they “should” be doing and when they “should” outgrow aspects of their babyhood/childhood. I just continued to trust that they knew what they were doing and however they were doing it was appropriate for them. This felt right for me.

I had to make adjustments to accommodate their interests, and I too began to become interested in the things that they wanted to learn about. We took a multitude of field trips with friends to discover new places and new things; we spent a lot of time exploring the outdoors and bug collecting. They truly taught me everything, as I grew up with only one sister, and here I was with two little boys! Listening became a big part of my job – hearing what they had to say, waiting for them to figure out how to say it.

AP & School-Age Children

As my boys became older, my job as a mom continued to grow – now I was also teacher after school – and tutor. I was eavesdropper as they spoke in the car to each other and with their friends. I was given the big window into their lives in the car. The car became the place where we all reconnected. In the car, there was no competition for any of our attention. We spoke of many things in the car, and learned all about boy-girl relationships and sex. For some reason, they always asked me the hardest questions while I was driving them. Part of the advantage to this was that they could not see my face and my shock in the innocence of their intense questions.

I made myself available to them whenever they needed. I tried to not interfere with their burgeoning independence. I tried not to act hurt when they acted like I was a “stupid woman.” I say this with a smile, as I know it is a stage that all pre-adolescents go through, thinking that they are the all powerful and all knowing and their parents are just simply stupid and know nothing! My friends and I would laugh about all this, and actually feel proud of our children and how confident they were in their power and knowledge. What a good feeling!

AP & Teens

Now my older children are 11 and 13. My first teenager has bouts of intense love for me and intense anger about anything. He will just come up to me and hug me and tell me that he loves me. The next day, he will tell me I am ruining his life. I continue to follow my heart and love him everyday, and let him know it. I love hearing about everything that is going on in his life – as much as he is willing to share with me. I keep an open mind and let him know of my availability to him to talk about anything. I respect his privacy and his decisions. We have made certain agreements about his being able to call me and have me fish him out of any uncomfortable situation he finds himself in – no questions asked – no punishment offered. He is teaching me everyday, again, about growing up and being a teenager – about separation and attachment.

What he is going through is strikingly similar to what my toddler is going through. Two steps forward, one step back. Independent one day, leaning on me the next. Growing and learning about his new body and intelligence and power and strength. Learning how to handle all the new feelings in his body. Learning how his parents fit into the big picture.  He is a bright, articulate, strong young man who has his future at his feet. He has every opportunity in the world before him. I have to learn patience as he takes his steps in navigating his unique journey in this world. I need to learn patience and trust in his process, and trust that he will make decisions that are right for him. I must learn when to talk and when to stay quiet.

How AP Changes as Children Grow

I take time to talk with other parents with kids the same ages. Some of these parents have been my “co-workers” in my parenting career since our older babies were the littlest of babies. Hearing what they have to say comforts me as I learn that, once again, what my children are doing is normal. Expectations must be adjusted once more, as even though our children are literally big, they are still very focused on only themselves, at times. Autonomy ebbs and flows. They move at their own pace. I must believe that what they are doing is the right thing to be doing at their age and stage of development.

Touch is still an essential tool in my parenting practices. Hugs, kisses, telling them “I love you” are daily activities. Taking affection any way I can get it from them, while understanding that it may come in odd ways – like wrestling with my boys! I continue to be emotionally available to them, at the drop of a pin. My boys keep busy, but we must be careful not to over-schedule, as they still really need their down time. I must learn more about being involved without being intrusive.

Babies, toddlers, and adolescents – strikingly similar. Parenting through it all and following my children’s lead has been my mantra. I make decisions based on what works for today. I continue to follow my heart and my instincts. I may make mistakes along the way, all of this is part of learning. I understand now how quickly they grow, and I cherish my time with all three of my sons – knowing one day they will be gone from my home and in their own with children of their own…and I will miss them tremendously.

Reprinted with permission from Seventh Moon~ Perinatal Support Services. © 2004 Susan Esserman-Schack, LCSW, IBCLC, LCCE.

I made myself available to them whenever they needed. I tried to not interfere with their burgeoning independence. I tried not to act hurt when they acted like I was a “stupid woman.”

Tips for New Fathers in Bonding with Their Newborns

By Nancy Da Silva

The most important thing for new dads to remember is that they are not competing with moms for baby time or for the baby’s favor.

While bonding will happen more quickly between mothers and their infants, there are things dads can do to build their relationship with the new baby from day one:

  • Be tactile – Babies are comforted through the sense of touch. Pitching in during bath times, massaging the baby, and holding the baby against your chest will all succeed in fostering a warm, strong connection between the two of you.
  • Make eye contact – If you’ve been talking to the baby since he was still in the womb, he’ll be familiar with your voice. Holding him in your arms, so that you can look down at him while you speak and he can look up at you, will help him associate that voice with your face and make him feel safe and loved.
  • Share doctor duty – Taking over some of the doctor’s visits will not only earn you points with your wife or partner but will help you gain info on your baby’s overall health. It will give you the opportunity to help pitch in if the doctor offers any suggestions for any necessary treatments.
  • Share diaper duty – Parenting is a messy business, and while some fathers feel it is the mother’s responsibility to take care of the less enjoyable end of baby care, they’re missing out. A crying, uncomfortable baby who is soothed by a clean diaper and clean clothes will associate that soothing, comfortable feeling with you. Bonding with your child takes work, and in this case, you’ve got to just jump in and get your hands dirty. The baby will benefit, and so will you.
  • Sing – Music is the universal calmer. If you want to bond with your child, hold her close and sing them a lullaby while rocking them, or look down at them in the crib and sing to your heart’s content. When the baby is stressed, he’ll associate you, along with his mother, as someone who will make him feel better.
  • Schedule some Daddy time – Despite the fact that the new mother will be suffering from sleep deprivation, you might find some opposition when you put forth the initial idea for some alone time with the new baby. Mothers may feel uneasy with passing them off to someone else, even if it’s just for a few hours, even if it’s you. This is why pitching in with little tasks is so important. It shows the nervous mother that she can trust you to know what you’re doing. Respect her nervousness, but assure her that the two of you will make an even better team if you can share parenting responsibilities and that giving her some free time will be beneficial for both of you. You can get to know your baby and your baby can get to know you, so that if Mommy needs a break, you can take over with minimal fuss on the part of the child.