Category Archives: 2. The Infant

From newborn to 17 months.

2. The Infant

Crying and Comforting

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By Pam Stone, co-leader of API of Merrimack Valley, New Hampshire

**Originally published in the Summer 2008 AP in a Non-AP World issue of The Journal of API

Comforting the CryingAll babies cry. And all parents are continually striving to find the best way to respond to those cries.

Unfortunately, there is an abundance of misguided information about how to best respond to a crying baby; sometimes friends, family members, and even health practitioners may push advice upon parents that has not been well-researched.

Babies are born with brains that are only 25 percent of their full-grown size. Ninety percent of post-birth brain growth occurs in the first five years of life, influenced greatly by each interaction between the child and his caregivers. Brain connections are formed based on life experiences, particularly emotional experiences. If a child is not consistently comforted when in distress, his brain will not form the vital pathways that will help him learn to manage his own emotions and impulses. This can have a lasting impact into adulthood. Continue reading Crying and Comforting →

2. The Infant

AP in a Non-AP World

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By Sophie Aitkin

**Originally published in the Summer 2008 AP in a Non-AP World issue of The Journal of API

Sophie and children
Sophie and children

My first baby, Howard, was born in the back seat of our family car on the way to the hospital. My husband continued driving, and I had precious minutes in the back of the car alone with my new baby. As the intense pain of childbirth ceased, I was flooded with an ecstatic love for this little, naked bundle, and the natural process of bonding began.

Naturally AP

From that moment, my instincts took over, and I found myself naturally following the principles of Attachment Parenting (AP), although I was not aware of the literature in this area until later. I slept with him against my body, breastfed him on cue night and day, wore him in a sling wherever we went, allowed him to sleep when it suited him, and tried to be highly attuned and responsive to his needs. I did not leave him with anyone else until he was comfortable to be left, which was when he was nearly two years old and he said emphatically, “Go ‘way, Mama!”

A Non-AP Society

However, I was somewhat surprised to discover that this parenting style, which felt so intuitively right to me, was out of sync with the way that much of society here in Australia expected me to parent. Continue reading AP in a Non-AP World →

2. The Infant, 3. The Toddler

Help Your Toddler Bond with the New Baby

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By Naomi Aldort, author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves

**Originally published in the Spring 2008 New Baby issue of The Journal of API

Siblings“Mommy, why do you need another Yonatan?” asked my first-born, looking at my growing belly. I hugged him and said, “I do not need another Yonatan. There is no other Yonatan. You are the only ‘you’ there will ever be, and I love you so much.”

No matter how much we explain and include a young child in welcoming his new sibling, he will not comprehend this concept any more than you would welcome another lover for your spouse.

In an extended family, the situation is a lot easier, as mom is not the only caregiver. In the nuclear family, a seven-year-old would happily welcome a new baby as a wonderful addition, but a toddler or a young child who is still seeing himself as the needy one will have a lot of inner turmoil and needs your reassurance that he is still your darling child. Continue reading Help Your Toddler Bond with the New Baby →

1. Pregnancy & Birth, 2. The Infant, 3. The Toddler, 4. The Growing Child, Striving for Balance: Personal & Family

Sibling Spacing: Five-Plus Years Apart Means More Time with Each Child

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By Amy Carrier O’Brien

**Originally published in the Spring 2008 New Baby issue of The Journal of API

Owen, Liam, and Aiden
Owen, Liam, and Aiden

Aiden was seven and a half when Owen was born, and almost ten when Liam was born. He had already been with us through the many adventures that had created the foundation of our lives. We didn’t set out to have our first two kids seven years apart; it just worked out that way.

Spacing Children Around College

We were undergrads in college when Aiden was born, with both Jim and I having full class schedules and part-time jobs. Aiden was there with us through college, relocating to what is now our hometown, and navigating through our first “real” jobs. He even went to work with Jim during our first summer out of school.

When Aiden was four, and our feet were firmly planted in our jobs and new house, we considered having more children. Just when I had become attached to the idea of having another child to love, I got the opportunity to go back to school for a master’s degree. Other than us wanting another child, it was the perfect time to go, and my employer would pay for it. Continue reading Sibling Spacing: Five-Plus Years Apart Means More Time with Each Child →

1. Pregnancy & Birth, 2. The Infant, 3. The Toddler, Striving for Balance: Personal & Family

Sibling Spacing: Two Years Apart and Getting Easier with Age

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By Melissa Hincha-Ownby, API Resource Leader of Arizona, API’s Technology Coodinator, and API’s Forum Administrator

**Originally published in the Spring 2008 New Baby issue of The Journal of API

Melissa's son and daughter
Melissa’s son and daughter

One of the most common questions that parents ask themselves when they are considering expanding their family is, “What is the ideal spacing between children?” There is no right answer to this question, as what is ideal to one family may make no sense to another.

The answer for our family was two years. My sister and I are three and a half years apart, and while we are the best of friends now, the age difference left us both alone in high school. Based on my personal experience with my sister, I knew that I didn’t want my children quite so far apart.

Although two years was on the maximum end of what my husband and I were hoping for, fate stepped in and had other ideas. Ultimately, my daughter was born when my son was two years and three months old. In hindsight, the 27-month difference has turned out to be great. However, in the early years, at times, things were definitely tough. Continue reading Sibling Spacing: Two Years Apart and Getting Easier with Age →

1. Pregnancy & Birth, 2. The Infant, Striving for Balance: Personal & Family, The Editor's Desk

Sibling Spacing: One Year Apart, Too Close or Just Right?

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By Rita Brhel, managing editor and attachment parenting resource leader (API)

**Originally published in the Spring 2008 New Baby issue of The Journal of API

Rachel and her doll
Rachel and her doll

I love babies, especially the newborns. I love breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, the whole shebang. When other mothers can hardly stand to get through those first couple months of irregular schedules and sleep deprivation, of crazy diaper explosions and unpredictable spit-up sessions, I am soaking it all in – the comfort of knowing that I am all my little one needs, at least for a little while. For all the challenges my oldest daughter, Rachel, threw my way during her first year of life, the joys and amazement of becoming a parent far outweighed the negatives.

When Rachel turned eight months old, I turned to my husband Mike and said that I thought it’d be fun to have a baby every year. The next month, we found out I was pregnant. It wasn’t planned, but it was wonderful news. There was a problem, however, in that Rachel was far too young to comprehend what it meant to have a new baby brother or sister. Throughout the pregnancy, I tried to introduce the concept of a “baby” to her. I pointed out babies in books and on the TV. I wrapped up one of her stuffed animals in a diaper and blanket. We visited a friend with a newborn baby.

Reality Sets In

In my ninth month of pregnancy, I began to worry about how bringing home a new baby would affect my 16-month-old daughter. How would Rachel handle living with Grandma in an unfamiliar house while I was in the hospital? How would she deal with me being unable to lift her and hold her for eight weeks after a medically necessary cesarean section? How would she cope with not being the sole center of my universe? Continue reading Sibling Spacing: One Year Apart, Too Close or Just Right? →

2. The Infant

Postpartum Depression Affects Attachment

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From API’s Publications Team

BabyAn article on France’s InfosJuenes.com, “Risk of Maternal Depression on the Infant,” reveals research that shows the negative effects of depression in mothers on their babies.

Compared to children of nondepressed mothers, children of mothers with postpartum depression typically perform worse on cognitive and behavior measures, and exhibit higher rates of insecure attachment. The reason: Depressed mothers tend to be withdrawn and disengaged when interacting with their infants, and to be less attuned to their infants’ needs.

In one study, the age at which these poor cognitive measures become most apparent is 18 months. In another study, depression in parents was the number-one predictor of negative parenting behaviors like yelling, hitting, and shaking once factors for socio-economic status, ethnicity, education level, parent age, and employment status were taken out of consideration.

Research has also found a direct correlation between preventing postpartum depression and prevention of behavior issues, insecure attachment, and decline in IQ in infants.

2. The Infant

API Members React to Motrin Ad

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From API’s Publications Team

Babywearing momThe makers of Motrin received a flood of feedback from parents about the ibuprofen brand’s latest advertising campaign targeting mothers. The ad, which had been released in November, had put moms and dads on the offensive as the ad’s spokeswoman speaks on the so-called (back, neck, and shoulder) pains of babywearing.

The Actual Transcript of the Ad

“Wearing your baby seems to be in fashion. I mean, in theory it’s a great idea. There’s the front baby carrier, sling, schwing, wrap, pouch. And who knows what else they’ve come up with. Wear your baby on your side, your front, go hands free. Supposedly, it’s a real bonding experience. They say that babies carried close to the bod tend to cry less than others. But what about me? Do moms that wear their babies cry more than those who don’t? I sure do! These things put a ton of strain on your back, your neck, your shoulders. Did I mention your back?! I mean, I’ll put up with the pain because it’s a good kind of pain; it’s for my kid. Plus, it totally makes me look like an official mom. And so if I look tired and crazy, people will understand why.”

API SpeaksA link to the ad and messages sent to Motrin, as well as the opinions of Attachment Parenting International’s bloggers, can be found on API Speaks by clicking here: http://attachmentparenting.org/blog/2008/12/18/making-babywearing-work-for-you/.

API ForumsIn addition, this topic is being discussed on the API Forums at http://www.attachmentparenting.org/forums/showthread.php?p=21255#post21255.

Motrin’s Official Response

“With regard to the recent Motrin advertisement, we have heard you.

On behalf of McNeil Consumer Healthcare and all of us who work on the Motrin Brand, please accept our sincere apology.

We have heard your complaints about the ad that was featured on our website. We are parents ourselves and take feedback from moms very seriously.

We are in the process of removing this ad from all media. It will, unfortunately, take a bit of time to remove it from our magazine advertising, as it is on newsstands and in distribution.

Thank you for your feedback. Its very important to us.”

Sincerely,
Kathy Widmer
Vice President of Marketing
McNeil Consumer Healthcare

2. The Infant, Special Circumstances: Multiples, Adoption & Special Needs

Hannah’s Story: Infant Reflux

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By Stephanie Petters, leader of API of North Fulton, Georgia, & API’s Membership Liaison

**Originally published in the Fall 2007 Special Needs issue of The Journal of API

Hannah
Hannah

New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day used to be uneventful times for my husband and me. Then, my daughter Hannah was born. The New Year holidays of 2004 etched permanent and vivid memories in our brains.

We had our beautiful newborn in our arms protesting at the top of her lungs. She had just spit up for the third time in the past half hour. Beginning that New Year’s Eve, we were awake for an entire 48 hours. Hannah was either spitting up or crying. She was very uncomfortable, in pain, and exhausted. We were sleep-deprived and mentally drained. This seemed to be our routine for the next month.

Mother’s Intuition

Something with this situation wasn’t sitting right with me. I knew newborns spit up, and I knew it was to be expected to not get much sleep, but it seemed like this was in excess. But then again, I was a new parent. I doubted my instincts and listened to those around me who said, “It’s just normal.” Continue reading Hannah’s Story: Infant Reflux →

2. The Infant

Tennessee’s Infant Deaths Can Be Prevented

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From API’s Publications Team

Pregnant
Pregnant

Attachment Parenting International Co-founder Barbara Nicholson was quoted in a Public News Service (PNS) article about Tennessee’s high infant mortality rate.

According to PNS, 9 of every 1,000 babies born in Tennessee die during their first year of life, with the rate for African Americans rivaling the infant mortality in some third-world countries. Memphis, Tenn., has the highest numbers in the state, with a child dying every 43 hours. Health officials say the leading cause of Tennessee’s infant mortality rate is premature birth.

Nicholson said that many premature infant deaths can be prevented through the use of low-cost services such as Centering Pregnancy, which teaches pregnant women to self-monitor their blood pressure and weight.

“This is group care of pregnant moms in the care of a midwife and this
results in a 41 percent reduction in infant mortality in the
African-American community,” Nicholson said.

There are five Centering Pregnancy programs in Tennessee – four in Memphis and one in Madisonville – with more sites planned for Nashville and Chattanooga. Centering Pregnancy is funded through the State of Tennessee; Gov. Phil Bredsen has pledged $6 million toward programs such as Centering Pregnancy.

“If we put money into prevention, it’s going to save us millions,” Nicholson said. “When we have better outcomes, prevention is always the cheapest and safest alternative.”