Tag Archives: child development

When ‘D’ Meets ‘S’: The Role of Personality in Parenting

By Rita Brhel, managing editor and attachment parenting resource leader (API)

Mother and sonThrough Attachment Parenting, we learn how truly powerful a close emotional relationship with our children can be. But even with the strongest of bonds, conflict will arise between parents and their children. As children grow, AP focuses more and more on how we, as parents, resolve conflict — in a gentle, positive manner that promotes influence, guidance, and teaching rather than control.

Much of the root of conflict resolution resides in our own selves – in dealing with our own unresolved hurts and biases, as well as finding personal balance, so that we can control the urge to jump to conclusions and react without thinking. And so that we can have the courage to stop in the moment, take a deep breath, and think about how to control our default thinking to be able to react with compassion instead of anger and defensiveness.

Another important piece of this puzzle is understanding how personality differences play into both conflict and conflict resolution. Think about what is most likely to create conflict between you and your spouse or partner: Often, isn’t it because you two do the same thing in different ways? My husband and I encounter this all the time. I am much more detail-oriented than my husband and sometimes don’t understand why he doesn’t see the crumbs on the table, while he wonders why I care so much about the crumbs. The same situation can happen between you and a child who doesn’t see the world in the same way.

Personality Assessments as a Way to Get to Know Your Child Better

The point of discovering your child’s personality traits is not to put a label on him, or to try to compartmentalize the reason behind his actions. Instead, it is another way for parents to get to know their child more — to discover what makes him tick. Continue reading When ‘D’ Meets ‘S’: The Role of Personality in Parenting

Poor Attachment Leads to Adult Anxiety Disorders

From API’s Publications Team

Adult anxietyA study to be published in the March issue of Behavior Therapy, “Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Connections with Self-Reported Attachment,” credits secure parent-child attachment in lessening the risk of that child eventually developing a severe anxiety disorder as an adult.

What the University of Maryland and Pennsylvania State researchers found was that adults with severe anxiety tended to report experiencing less maternal love in childhood, greater maternal rejection or neglect, and more maternal role-reversal than did adults without severe anxiety. In general, risk for anxiety in adults increased as did the severity of insecure attachment during childhood. Furthermore, adults with severe anxiety tended to report more unstable emotional relationships with their mothers now, and more difficulty remembering childhood experiences.

How to Play with Your Baby

By Maathangi Iyer, staff writer for The Attached Family

Baby's playYour child is naturally imaginative — all children are. Most theories of child development view young children as highly creative, with a natural tendency to fantasize, experiment, and explore their physical and conceptual environment.

Having said that, the role of a parent in developing, stimulating, and nurturing the child — with respect to his emotional, cognitive, and language development — cannot be over-emphasized. Based on analysis by “Early Childhood Longitudinal Study’s Birth Cohort (ECLS),” 31 percent of American parents know very little about the pace of a typical infant’s development, such as when a child should start talking or begin potty training. Lack of knowledge can be a detriment to a baby’s development, whether it’s expecting a baby to be able to do something he’s not developmentally ready for or ignoring the child’s need for playful learning.

Even very young babies enjoy playing with their parents, and as the baby grows, so does her need for exploring and learning. The first few years of your child’s life is an exciting time for you and her, as it is this stage that the growth and development of her young brain are the fastest in her life. The day-to-day experiences are responsible for shaping the brain. Your baby’s experiences are what she sees, hears, feels, tastes, and smells — and each experience triggers electrical activity in the brain, enabling it to form these connections and grow. Continue reading How to Play with Your Baby

“Giving the Love that Heals,” an interview with attachment therapist Harville Hendrix

Happy Valentine's DayDear Readers,

Click here to download your free gift from API.

As promised in the Winter 2008-09 Healing Childhood Wounds issue of The Journal of API — as a followup to the article “The 11th Commandment” — this free audio download is the full version of API Co-founder Barbara Nicholson’s interview with Imago Relationship Therapy Founder Harville Hendrix.

The author of Giving the Love that Heals, Harville’s words are inspiring and motivating — a true reminder that everyday should be Valentine’s Day. You do not want to miss this interview!

Happy Valentine’s Day from API…

~ Rita Brhel, editor of The Attached Family publications

(If you have trouble downloading the file, contact me at editor@attachmentparenting.org.)

Separation without Anxiety

By Grace Zell, staff writer for The Attached Family

Grace Zell and her children
Grace Zell and her children

About a year ago, a friend convinced me to do something good for myself and join the local gym. She would leave her two-year-old daughter in the gym’s nursery and enjoy a nice exercise class. Up to this point, I had only left my 18-month-old daughter, Katie, with my mother at our home, or with a trusted babysitter who my daughter warmed up to after a few times with me present. Unfortunately, the babysitter was back at college and my mother lives three hours away, so I figured the gym nursery would be the next best thing to get some “me time.”

I was nervous as I signed up for a gym membership, thinking that this whole enterprise hinged on my daughter being able to tolerate the nursery. The staff of the nursery seemed attentive but not overly warm or concerned about anything other than the safety of their wards. Luckily, on our first day, my friend dropped her daughter off at the same time. Katie was preoccupied with playing with her friend, and I snuck away after telling her that I would return after I was done riding the bike.

Not Yet Ready

After ten minutes, I was paged to the nursery. Katie’s preoccupation with her friend’s presence had worn off, and she noticed that she was alone with a roomful of strange children and adults. She was crying and looking for me at the door. The nursery staff followed a policy of not allowing any child to cry for longer than ten minutes before paging the parent to come, but they advised me to continue leaving her at the nursery while I was exercising — that eventually Katie would be able to stay without crying. Continue reading Separation without Anxiety

UK Study on Orphaned Chimpanzees Could Benefit Human Orphans

From API’s Publications Team

ChimpanzeeA study published in the Development Pyschobiology journal involving the care of orphaned chimpanzees could help change the way human orphans are cared for.

According to an article in the European Union’s CORDIS News, “Chimp Study Highlights Importance of Emotional Care in Childhood,” orphaned chimps that were mothered by humans fared better emotionally than chimps raised in a more institutional setting.

The study, which was conducted at the Yerkes National Primate Research Center’s Great Ape Nursery in Atlanta, Georgia USA, was funded by the FEELIX GROWING project. In the study, the chimps that received emotionally responsive care — which included time with human caregivers doing grooming, playing, and other interactions — were happier, smarter, and more emotionally adjusted than chimps given standard care, which focused solely on meeting physical needs.

The mothered chimps were less easily stressed, less often attached to comfort items such as blankets, had healthier relationships with their caregivers, and were more cognitively advanced.

The insitutionalized chimps were more likely to display disorganzied attachment behaviors such as rocking or clutching a comfort item when distressed instead of turning to the caregiver. Because similar behaviors have been noticed in human orphanages and with neglected and abused children, the study’s authors believe  theproposed strategies of increasing emotionally sensitive caregiving to orphaned chimps can be translated to orphaned humans.

“The attachment system of infant chimpanzees appears surprisingly similar to that found in human infants,” said Professor Kim Bard of the University of Portsmouth in the United Kingdom. “Early experiences, either of warm, responsive caregiving or of extreme deprivation, have a dramatic impact on emotional and cognitive outcomes in both chimpanzees and humans. Parental sensitivity is an important factor in human infant development, and it would seem the same is true for great apes, as well.”

To read the entire article, go to http://cordis.europa.eu/fetch?CALLER=EN_NEWS&ACTION=D&SESSION=&RCN=30417.

Every Parent-Child Interaction Shapes the Brain

By Amber Lewis, staff writer for The Attached Family

Pathways in the brain created by neurons
Pathways in the brain created by neurons

Humans all begin the exact same way. We start our life out as a zygote, the fertilized egg in our mother’s uterus, 46 chromosomes that will determine everything from eye color to height and that help to influence our intelligence and who we are individually. By the fourth week of pregnancy, the zygote has turned into an embryo and will begin developing what will become its brain.

The brain begins as the ectoderm, which is the top layer of the now three-layered embryo, and will develop into the neural tube which will close by week six. At ten weeks gestation, the new brain will begin forming neurons at the rate of 250,000 per minute, according to the article “Fetal Development: What Happens During the First Trimester?” on Mayoclinic.com. At the 16th week, the fetus’ eyes are becoming sensitive to light, and at week 18, the fetus can hear. By the 28th week, the fetus’ eyes open.

Parenting Begins In Utero

Why does this matter? Many mothers believe that their interactions with their unborn child can have an impact. Some parents even go so far as to parent in utero — reading and talking to their unborn child, already loving their baby deeply before even meeting him face to face. Research now shows what these parents already knew; parents influence their child’s psychological development from very early on. Continue reading Every Parent-Child Interaction Shapes the Brain

Negative Experiences Early in Life Can Lead to Teen Violence

From Duke University

Sad BoyAdverse experiences early in life can lead to minor childhood behavior problems, which can grow into serious acts of teen violence, according to new research.  This “cascading effect” of repeated negative incidents and behaviors is the focus of an article in the November/December 2008 edition of Child Development.

Using a novel approach that went beyond simply identifying risk factors, a research team led by a Duke University psychologist measured how violent behavior develops across the life span, from early childhood through adolescence.

The researchers tracked children from preschool through adulthood and documented that children who have social and academic problems in elementary school are more likely to have parents who withdraw from them over time. That opens the door for them to make friends with adolescents exhibiting deviant behaviors and, ultimately, leads them to engage in serious and sometimes costly acts of violence.

About the Study

The researchers followed 754 children from 27 schools in four different areas in the United States for 12 years. The data included school records covering kindergarten through eleventh grade and annual reports collected from the children, their parents, peers, and observers.

The article, “Testing an Idealized Dynamic Cascade Model of the Development of Serious Violence in Adolescence,” appears in Vol. 79, Issue 6, of Child Development, a publication of the Society for Research in Child Development, Inc.

The developmental path toward violent outcomes was largely the same for boys and girls, said Kenneth A. Dodge, the lead author of the study and director of the Center for Child and Family Policy at Duke University.

Child Temperament a Risk Factor

Dodge and his colleagues in the Conduct Problems Prevention Research Group also found that the cascade could be traced back to children born with biological risks or born into economically disadvantaged environments, both of which make consistent parenting a challenge.

About the Research Group

The Conduct Problems Prevention Research Group is made up of scientists from Duke University, Pennsylvania State University, Tufts University, The University of Alabama, University of South Carolina, and University of Washington.

The Research Group determined biological risk by assessing the temperaments of the children in infancy, based on mothers’ reports; those at risk were irritable, easily startled, and difficult to calm. These children are more likely to exhibit minor social and cognitive problems upon entering school. From there, the behavior problems begin to “cascade,” Dodge said.

Positive Interactions Make a Difference

“The findings indicate that these trajectories are not inevitable, but can be deflected at each subsequent era in development, through interactions with peers, school, and parents along the way,” said Dodge, who is the William McDougall Professor of Public Policy and a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke. “Successful early intervention could redirect paths of antisocial development to prevent serious violent behavior in adolescence.”

Fortunately, successful interventions, such as parent training and social cognitive skills training for children, are available, he said.

Length of Postpartum Depression Determines Mother-Baby Attachment Difficulties

From API’s Publications Team

depressionAccording to an article on Guadian.co.uk, “Postnatal Depression and Your Baby,” the length of a new mother’s postpartum depression has a strong tie with the difficulties she’ll experience in establishing a close attachment with her baby.

Women who recover from their depression by the time their baby is six months old relate better to the baby than women whose depression lasts longer, according to a study published in a 1995 issue of Developmental Psychology, “Depression in First-Time Mothers: Mother-Infant Interaction and Depression Chronicity.” Treatment of postpartum depression is essential for the mother-infant relationship, as well as the infant’s development.

According to “Postpartum Depression Beyond the Early Postpartum Period,” a study published in a 2004 issue of Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic and Neonatal Nursing, children of mothers with long-time or recurrent depression tend to have behavioral problems, such as crying a lot and being excessively demanding or withdrawn.

Mothers with postpartum depression encourage these infant behaviors through certain behaviors, including:

  • Stopping breastfeeding before the baby is ready;
  • Not interacting socially with the baby, such as playing and showing books or toys;
  • Not following care routines.

The Role of Attachment in Healing Infant Depression

By Rita Brhel, managing editor and attachment parenting resource leader (API)

HeartDepression — a mental illness marked by unrelenting sadness and hopelessness that permeates the lives of an estimated one in 18 people — is among the most prevalent medical disorders in today’s world, affecting 12 percent of women, 7 percent of men, and 4 percent of adolescents in a given year. Eight percent of adults will develop depression sometime in their life, and women are most prone — their lifetime risk is 20 percent.

Depression is a devastating illness. In its mildest form, it drains the happiness out of a person’s life. In its most severe form, depression kills. It can lead to suicide or, in cases where depression symptoms manifest as anger and rage, as assault or worse.

Treatment of depression, overall, is usually complicated. There are many severities of depression, from mild but chronic to seasonal affective disorder to anxiety to major depressive episodes. Chemical imbalances in the brain often contribute to the development of depression, but that is rarely the only cause. Additional contributing factors may include recent events such as a death in the family or a job loss; a traumatic upbringing, such as a childhood marred by abuse; low self esteem; major life changes, such as a new baby or moving to a new city; natural disasters; physical illness; and others. Therefore, treatment often includes not only medication but also long-term counseling; very severe forms of depression can also lead to hospitalization. Continue reading The Role of Attachment in Healing Infant Depression